Never trust a cat.



Our dog likes to screw with the cat, literally.  Our cat likes to screw with the dog, figuratively.  Payback is a bitch.

The other night I was a wakened by the sound of our dog puking.  Huck, huck, Gaaaack..  Slurp.. slurp….  Disgusting. I spend a half an hour in that zone between wanting to go back to sleep, and wanting very much to know exactly where the puke was before I got up in the morning.  Half an hour turned out to be the rest of the night.  Since I am the heavy sleeper in the family, my lovely wife took care of the incident while I was in that zone.  The next morning she told me the story of what happened.   She said that the dog ate a giant humming bird moth and it made him sick.

You may say, “no big deal” to a little moth.  But these are not ordinary moths. They have a body as big as your thumb and a wing span of several inches.   And apparently they are not good eating.

I filled in a few facts about the physical capability of our dog and our cat, I believe I know exactly what happened.  First you have to understand that our dog is a miniature dachshund mix breed.  He is very tiny and not much of a ‘play in the dark’ kind of dog.  Our cat on the other hand is a mighty hunter of anything that flies.  Including flies.   My hypothesis is that our cat brought in the humming bird moth from the garden as a diabolical gift, an act of revenge for all the attempted rapes that our dog has, well, attempted.

No means No.

I imagine our little dog lying in bed half asleep when the cat comes in with a mouth full of fun.  She offers the gift to our dog and gestures to try it, she may even claim that it tastes like cheese popcorn (his favorite forbidden snack).  Then he chomps down on the severely punctured insect.  After a bit of munching he is confronted by a taste that doesn’t exactly measure up.   But he is determined to see this through.  It was a cat challenge, and one doesn’t shy away from such a thing.  Imagine the humiliation of not being able to choke down what a lowly cat finds to be good eating?  Anyway, I picture our cat lying on the bed curled up with one paw over her mouth slyly snickering to herself, “That will teach him to try to mount my sultry haunches” Purrrrpurrrr…

But she should know better.  He is smart, and can remember tricks, but he is only a dog.  He will do what is in his nature and hump things.  And the cat will do what is in her nature, and come up with diabolical ways to satisfy her needs for retribution.  Our dog should know better than to trust a cat with gifts.  And our cat should know that he won’t learn.

I don’t think this is over yet.



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