Corporate Survivor’s guilt
Back in the early 90s I used to work for a little heating and air conditioning company. At the time California was experiencing a housing bust and the company needed to contract in order to stay in business. I watched as each of my co-workers got the axe, I was the last one out the door. I remember feeling both sad and relieved when one of my co-workers had to leave. I don’t know why, but I always felt guilty, like somehow it was my fault.
Years later when I worked for Hewlett Packard the same thing happened, but much more slowly. It took months to trim the organization down. I was finally let go when I was promoted to a position that I was no longer qualified to occupy.
Once again my current employer is going through the same thing. Currently I don’t see myself on the chopping block, but that doesn’t lessen the anxiety or the sense of guilt after surviving another round of layoffs.
I understand that this is nothing new to most people, we are in a difficult economy and the average worker has to prove themselves every day. Each day when I go to work the interview begins again. But is this any different than any other job? Maybe, maybe not, but it doesn’t make for a collaborative environment.
It’s a dog eat dog world out there, and I am a cat person.