New Car options

My lovely wife and I were looking at new cars a few weeks ago.  In particular, we were looking at a new Honda.  We currently own a Honda Element (the best car on earth) and now we are looking at a Honda Fit.  Of course the first issue with buying any car is fit, as in can I fit into the car?  I am 2 meters tall and finding a car that I can sit in without my head rubbing on the ceiling while being able to reach the steering wheel is critical.  This effectively eliminates most cars from my search.  I fit the Honda Fit. 

The other problem we have run into is getting one with the features we are looking for.  I personally do not think that a new car is made with the features that I want.

I call them features rather than options as most of them are more of a lack of options.  These days most cars come standard with stuff that used to be a luxury only a few years ago.  For example, electric windows and mirrors used to be a luxury found only on high end vehicles.  Now every car has them.  Same with air bags, seat warmers, electric seats, etc…

Here is a list of features I would like in a new car.  Some of what I have listed are things I would like that are entirely possible, but are basically regulated by the government to assist in the prevention of lawsuits by stupid people and or greedy lawyers.  And some of these are things that I want, but are usually unavailable on cars without a luxury option that automatically add in crap loads of options that I specifically do not want.

#1.  Remote door locks.  I want the car to unlock when I push one button.  Not click once for the driver’s door and double click for other doors.  Unlock the whole damn thing with one click!  I am double click impaired and this really pisses me off.

#2.  Bells and dingers.  I want a silent car.  I don’t want to be reminded that my seat belt is not fastened, the lights are on, the door is open, or the truck is not fully closed.  Give me an indicator light, but keep the dingers off.

#3.  Manual transition.  (You would think that this would be something that would be easy to get)

#4.  Seat heater. (This should be standard in Colorado)

#5.  A manual switch to turn on and off the headlights.  Let me decide.  I have no problem with lights that come on automatically at night, but there are times where I want to run the engine without the damn lights on.

#6.  A full size spare tire.  I want one that looks just like the ones I am using on the road.  Little dinky spare tires suck.

#7.  A radio that doesn’t turn itself on when you start the car.  My lovely wife loves to play loud music when she drives alone.  It scares the shit out of me when I get into the car on Sunday morning to get a paper.

#8.  Please let me start the car without having to put in the clutch, or have the emergency brake on, or even actually sitting in the car.  Also, to hell with a steering wheel lock. 

#9. No warning stickers.  I want the option of buying a car without bright yellow warning stickers on the visors.  I will sign any waver you like, please scrap the litigious BS.

#10.  No car alarm.  I don’t want a panic button, nor do I wish the car to beep and squawk if someone bumps into it.  No one pays attention to car alarms.  If I buy a car that is that tempting to steal I will have it lo-jacked.

#11.  I want a standard Bluetooth interface to the car’s built in computer with an app for my I-pad.  I want to see exactly what the fuck is wrong with the car.  I hate the little engine light that tells you to seek service when the only thing that is wrong is the gas cap wasn’t tightened enough. 

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3 thoughts on “New Car options

  1. My biggest pet peeve with my 2011 Honda CRV is the low-tire sensor. The meter display is a comforting cool blue and the low-tire indicator is a bright orange that ruins it. Every time the outside temp changes by three degrees the damn light comes on.

  2. Archvillain says:

    I have a list of features for any potential new vehicle as well:

    Automatic wipers, Automatic headlights, Auto-dimming mirrors, Memory for seat settings, Cruise control, Air conditioning, Remote keyless entry, Heated seats, Leather upholstery, HD radio.

    So far, so good, right? These should be no problem at all, especially since my current car already has these features. However, once we add in this next batch of desires, it gets considerably more tricky.

    Fog lights, MP3 connectivity, All-wheel/4-wheel drive, Cell-phone integration, 4-wheel independent suspension, Heads-up display, Deisel engine.

    Those last two are the killers. I have HUD in my current vehicle. It allows me to see my speed without taking my eyes of the road, and is such as useful safety feature that I think all highway vehicles should be so equipped. The problem is, there are no vehicles sold in North America with both deisel engines AND HUD. Even mid-range cars and SUVs in Europe have both as an option, but not one single vehicle sold on this continent has both as an option. There are several small deisel engine equipped cars and SUVs here, and both GM and Lexus offer HUD on several models, but no one offers both.

  3. planetross says:

    My 20 year old van doesn’t have anything mentioned in your post, except for #2, #3, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, and #10.
    I wonder if I could get those other 3 things installed … and then sell my old crappy van to you. hee hee!

    note: my friend drives a “Fit”: it seems okay to drive in … except for the name.

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