Being that today is Saint Valentine’s Day I thought I would reflect on Cupid.  You know the little naked cherub who goes around with a bow and arrow and skewers unwitting couples into a romantic journey of one sort or another.  Upon reviewing the current statistics on divorce, and looking back upon the experiences of a few of my friends, I have to draw some conclusions.  Either Cupid is a lousy shot, incompetent, or downright naughty. 


I also read someplace that in some Cupid myths he carries two types of arrows with him.  One made of gold that inspires love and one made of lead which inspires hate.  It makes me wonder if Cupid is choosing his arrows by touch.  Since the current divorce rate is hovering around 50% blaming cupid’s arrow selection seems almost reasonable.  Caulk one up for incompetence.


I have also wondered about the use of arrows as a love potion injection system, it sounds rather imprecise.  I guess back when the myth was started arrows were at the cutting edge of weapon technology.  And getting stabbed by a naked boy with a sword or dagger isn’t as romantic.  I would like to think that if this myth started in the 20th century Cupid would be carrying around a high power rifle with a scope.  He would probably get the gold/lead cartridges mixed up anyway.  


One of the first problems with this whole Cupid thing is that such a power should not be entrusted to a prepubescent boy.  Whoever thought this up should have his head examined.  It’s bad enough that the dam kid has wings, but weapons as well?  What were his parents thinking?  It’s like giving a modern kid access to a helicopter and an assault rifle.  


I may sound bitter or peeved about this particular holiday, but I am not.  I just don’t see the whole point in setting side a particular day to celebrate something that should be praised every day of the year.  Ok, maybe not everyday but much more than once a year.   


I am tremendously lucky in love. 

Cupid shot me with a dozen or so arrows all of them gold, and all of them with my wife’s name on them.  I have to assume that she experienced something similar otherwise she would have kicked me out long ago.  By long I mean long, 25 years and still going.  That little cherub did some mighty fine shooting.  Maybe he was trying out a new scoped crossbow or something.  


Gold tip arrows are appropriate in other ways as well.  Gold doesn’t tarnish.  It is welcomed into the body and doesn’t get rejected like other metals do.  It lasts forever, and is good at holding its value. 


Thanks Cupid.  BTW, maybe you should think about outsourcing that whole lead arrow gig to a subcontractor.  




2 thoughts on “Cupidification

  1. planetross says:

    Maybe Cupid has a revolver and plays “Cupid Roulette” with those bullets. If he wore a trenchcoat, I’d go see the movie.

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