Stupid Sh!t Commission


My feeling towards Space Aliens, like most people, is one of whimsy and hope.  I do not see any evidence of the existence of Aliens, and I don’t have any reason not too believe either.  So I guess it makes me wishy-washy.  Sure there may be a vast conspiracy to cover up the existence of Aliens from other worlds, but I kind of doubt it.  I do not hold much weight in the cooperation of all the nations’ governments to keep a secret, any secret let alone a huge giant important secret.  But then again, why not?  We Americans believe in a lot of stupid shit, invest a lot of money keeping up with the latest trends in stupid shit, and seem to get a lot of enjoyment fooling around with stupid shit.  Just because it is stupid doesn’t mean it can’t be true.


I do have an issue with stupid shit when our government gets involved.  According to the conspiracy theory, the government (Federal) is already into Extraterrestrials.  To what extent is anyone’s guess?   But let’s back up a moment.  Let’s look at this a bit further back so we can see the forest.


Let’s assume for a moment that there is some kind of intergovernmental conspiracy that functions to hide any real proof of Extraterrestrial beings.  Let’s also assume that for the federal government to hide all the stuff they have some power.  Let’s also assume that extraterrestrial beings exist. Let’s also assume that they want to talk to us. 
Apparently Aliens should call Denver.  Here is a link to the proposed Commission that people in Denver will be voting on.



How Denver can claim to do all that with but can’t seem to manage to do the same with people who live in Denver, speak the same language, share a human heritage, I couldn’t tell you.


Here is a portion of the Legislative intent:


I just love the order in which these are listed. 

First, because the Federal government has kept this a secret and denied all access to hard evidence, this commission will start to look into if this shit is credible.

Next they will help the cooks and quacks who call in and report sightings to dial the right number.

Once that is all done they will help develop protocols for peaceful and diplomatic contact, which is what no other government in history has been able to do for thousands of years, with their own citizens.

Then, finally they get to the purpose of the entire thing. Money.


Then further down in Section 2-255. 64. Staffing and administrative support.


Well I guess as long as you’re creating such a thing why not staff it in such a way to achieve the purposes of the commission?  This is like setting up a Leprechaun investigative unit and staffing it to ensure you find Leprechauns.  If you find even one, all your work is justified.  If not then obviously you need more funding to hire more Leprechauns hunters.  However, you will never prove that leprechauns don’t exist so the hunt goes on.


I almost hope this idiocy passes.


The next step is to get the other 49 states to institute the same measures.  How can you take this kind of thing seriously when Colorado only covers a small portion of the nation?  All the states would have to work out some kind of communication system to work together.


Maybe the Federal government should get involved to speed up this process.  Oops, no wait, they are the ones hiding all the alien vehicles, films, autopsies, and high technology that produce something from nothing and allow us to live in peace.



The longer I live the more I am willing to believe in the possibility of incredibly weird shit.  But I also need to see proof before I actually believe in incredibly weird shit.  Lack of proof doesn’t necessarily mean that it is being covered up. 


Lack of proof also doesn’t mean that something isn’t true.   


The next Commissions that should be seriously proposed:

Zombie Commission

Vampire Commission

Evil Robot Commission.

Ghost Commission.

Super-power commission.

Unicorn Commission

Rainbow and Elf Commission.


Establishing the Extraterrestrial affairs commission is the dumbest thing I have seen on the ballot since I left California over a decade ago.  And that is saying something. 





3 thoughts on “Stupid Sh!t Commission

  1. Wenchypoo says:

    I’m really surprised California didn’t beat you guys to this one! I, for one, would like to get rid of the aliens that have already invaded Washington, and have been there for years. The ones currently in the White House are particularly bothersome.

  2. burrowowl says:

    We’ve alraedy got an alien-relations expert in Sacramento; haven’t you people seen Predator?

    “Get to ze choppa!”
    — Governor Schwarzenegger

  3. planetross says:

    Who decides on what propositions/things get to be voted on in Colorado? … I am ignorant.

    This is a weird one. I like it, but it is pretty weird.
    Hopefully unicorns, gnomes, and kappa can vote on this important vote.

    kappa info:

    I’m neither a non-believer or believer: I just don’t see the evidence for alien life forms out there … except for on tv.

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