Monster party

 

The other day I was watching Van Helsing. Not a great movie by any measure but then again neither was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  Both these movies tried to mix as many monsters into one movie as possible.  Vampires, werewolves, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. hide, the invisible man, Frankenstein, you name it and it was in one of these two movies.  All except Zombies, they really missed out on that call.  Think of the cameos!

Anyway I was thinking if these monsters were real how would they lean politically?  I am not talking about one-off monsters; I don’t care about the political leanings of Godzilla, the Kraken, or the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man. I am thinking of monsters that should have a voice and be represented an oppressed minority. Which political party would say a vampire support?  How about a zombie?  I know that politics can’t be boiled down racially, just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you always vote the party ticket.  However, which way would the majority tend to lean? 

I found this article while searching the web on the subject of vampires and zombies.  It has some good points about the coloration between how we view zombies and vampires and how different administrations seem to spawn one type of movie over another. 

However, it doesn’t answer the central question, if you were a vampire, zombie or werewolf which party would you support?

Would a zombie tend to support Republicans in order to bring back the values of a simpler time where they had more influence and less video games?  Or would they support Democrats because they support fairness and equality, more brains for everyone.

How about Vampires?  Vampires are a rich secret society that preys on the blood of the poor and helpless.  Wouldn’t they be natural supported of big business?  Or would Vampires, sure they suck blood, but they do it while being impeccably dressed and well educated.  Naturally they maybe inclined toward a more liberal bent.

According to this website, Zombies are red, vampires are blue.

How about Werewolves?  They are generally anti social, reluctant to coexist with others not of their kind, and tend to be ashamed of their infrequent misdeeds.  However; they are predictable, once a month they do what they must or lock themselves away.  Unlike Vampires or Zombies they can easily mingle with the population without arising much suspicion, unless the moon is full.  

I like to think that Werewolves would be Libertarian.

AaaaaaWoooo  My brothers.

-pf

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3 thoughts on “Monster party

  1. HA! Beat me to it!

    I read it as Zombies being like the man in the street and Democrats. Vampires being the elite and not caring about the masses, therefore Republicans and as you say, Werewolves, Libertarian. Hey, everybody’s gotta be somebody, right?

    I do also find it rather interesting that both major political parties are some form of the undead while we get to be actually alive and breathing though. :-)

    -TP

  2. planetross says:

    I guess aliens can’t vote anyway, so there’s no use trying to fit them into the equation.

  3. Burrowowl says:

    It’s been pretty well-documented that Cthulhu is a member of the Elder Party. His policy paper is an interesting read. Iä, Iä, Cthulhu Phtagn!

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