Short Slighted

Maybe I am just getting old and cantankerous, but I am starting to resent all the low things in my life.  Since the advent of the ADA it seems that businesses are going out of their way to lower everything.  I am sure that this lowering has been carefully researched and designed to be the most efficient for people confined to wheelchairs.  Which is fine.  All the rules are defined in building codes and enforced by building inspectors and probably an army of lawyers.  Sure it benefits the minority of Americans that are confined to wheel chairs but what about that other minority of Americans?  What about the unusually tall? 

I am two meters tall and my back is starting to complain.  Fountain drinks at the grocery store are at zipper level, I can’t even read the labels with out bending way over.  Light switches seem to get lower and lower, my belt loops keep getting caught on the damn things.  When I go to the rest room washing my hands reminds me of the hose spigot in my back yard.  Using the urinal is a challenge in target practice.  I feel discriminated against.  I feel like Gulliver trapped in an ever shrinking Lilliput.  

Speaking of public restrooms…

It seems that every time I have to use a public restroom there are usually two urinals on the wall, if I’m lucky.  One relatively normal urinal (which is still too low) and one micro urinal that is just about touching the ground, the flush handle is about crotch level.  Invariably someone gets to the normal urinal before me and I’m forced to use the Lilliput.  This person is invariably short.   If a short guy feels compelled to use the (tall urinal) and there is an even shorter one available, then there must be discrimination at foot, or maybe I should say at knee.

Maybe I should just be thankful that I have such things to gripe about.  I am sure that there are a lot of short people who would just love to complain about bashing their heads on a low door way.  They would love to complain about ducking below low hanging advertisements in the grocery store, or having to get on your knees to read what flavor of self serve soft drink you’re bending over to serve your self.

I remember one time a while back that I went to the restroom with a friend.  This friend is nearly as tall as I am and we just happen to be discussing the subject of discrimination towards the tall.  We arrived at the urinals at the same time.  Yes, there was the choice between the supper short and the medium urinal.  He rushed to the short one.  I just had to ask, “After all that talk, why did you pick the little boys urinal?”  He said “Oh you got it all wrong, this is the urinal is for the unusually well endowed”

I guess there are handicaps that I haven’t really thought through.  

Reminds me of an old joke… 

The punch line is:

The water is cold.

And deep too.

-pf

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2 thoughts on “Short Slighted

  1. Dad says:

    unusually well endowed? I am not so sure about that, However I have to give a hearty RIGHT ON! to your comments about the problems of the normal sized men in our family. At last, I am the shortest male in the family and I am about six five. My poor boys have had to endure the prejudice of the barely adequate world for too damn long. I say we mount a charge, a movement, Oh Hell, screw it! Let the rest of the world catch up! What I would give for the airlines to be the first in line to accomodate the normal sized for a change.

  2. planetross says:

    Why are the shoeboxes for the big sizes at the bottom in many shoe stores?
    It’s the worst location to see.
    Do tall people have great eyesight or something?

    You are singing to choir with this one.

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