A couple of years ago I was standing at the back door enjoying a beer and watching the trees blow back and forth with the wind. It was late fall and we had some really fierce thunderstorm activity. I just love watching thunderstorms, I know a bit about static electricity, and am constantly impressed with the show that is created by the forces of nature. A beer or two later I noticed a strange shadow outside our chain link fence about twenty yards away. At first I thought it was a trash bag being tossed around in the wind but it seemed to move in a more purposeful fashion. Then it disappeared. The shadow looked familiar somehow; I kept looking for it out of the corner of my eye as I was watching for lightning. The rest of my family was inside playing a board game. For or some reason I can’t stand board games; they know this and don’t press me to play anymore. When I came inside to see who was winning I looked out the window and saw the shadow again.
“Look, did you see that? It looks like a strange dog is running around the back fence” My wife and son looked out the window and saw nothing.
A little while later I was back at the garage door watching the storm and saw it again. This time I was sure of what I saw, I just couldn’t believe it. It was a wild turkey walking along the back fence. I ran inside and told my family. “You won’t believe it but there is a huge wild turkey walking around outside just on the other side of our fence” They laughed as they turned to look, yea sure a wild turkey. They saw nothing.
“Honey, how many beers have you had?” My lovely wife asked. “Honest, it was a wild turkey, probably three feet tall!” I exclaimed. “You’ll see, it couldn’t have gotten far, the poor thing must have blown with from the storm” So I went back outside to seriously hunt for the wild turkey, now I just had to prove that I wasn’t drunk or daft. About ten minutes later I saw it again, I ran inside and said “There it is right there in the corner of the fence, the turkeys back! They all looked as I pointed out the window.
“I am starting to worry about you” She says. Finally, after a half an hour goes by, I see it yet again. This time I have a spot light. I crack open the garage door to the house and yell, “There it is… the turkey is back!”
This time they see the turkey. I was vindicated at last.
What the heck is a turkey doing in our back yard? Pelicans sure, Bats just about every night, but a turkey?
Ever since the day of the turkey sighting my lovely wife uses it as a way to poke fun at my fertile imagination.
This leads me to Easter Sunday, and my next odd sighting, as if my lovely wife needs more ammo for funny stories to share with her friends. We started the day painting the basement, then after a wonderful dinner of turkey (we had ham for Christmas) with my wife and two sons we went down to the basement and played some Mario cart. Afterwards my boys went back to their life in their rooms and my wife and I watched the 10 Commandments with Charlton Heston. All in all, it was a relatively good and uneventful Easter Sunday.
My wife, being the solar powered woman she is, started to crash after the sun went down. So I was left to entertain myself. After the movie was over and my wife went to bed to read a book I got the luxury of watching any movie I wanted. I chose to watch Resident Evil: Apocalypse. No particular reason, I just enjoy zombie movies and my wife doesn’t, so I seized the opportunity. It was about 9:00pm, when I paused the movie during the scene where Alice, Jill, and Carlos enter a church while trying to escape a grave yard full of zombies. I went out to the garage to get a beer. After I poured myself a beer and, grabbed another bottle as back up, I went back into the house. When I looked towards the front window I noticed that there are two men standing outside. They were clean cut and each was wearing a dark suit, white shirt, and a tie. Lucky for me I wasn’t watching the Matrix. They seemed reluctant to ring the door bell, or knock. I opened up the front door to see what they wanted. It was then that I noticed that they were wearing name tags; they were from the Church of Latter Day Saints. One was also holding a grey bunny in his arms.
This is just too good to make up. I asked them what they were doing out on a Sunday night so late. They said that they found a lost bunny and were looking to see if anyone in the neighborhood had one missing. I told them that we don’t have bunnies but there were several houses that had little boys and girls up the street, and wished them luck in their search. At the moment this all seemed perfectly normal. I went down stairs re-started the movie and then thought about it for moment.
‘It’s Easter and I am watching a zombie movie where a genetic mutant is shooting it out with a bunch of zombie creatures in a church when I get a visit from two Mormons holding a bunny’ Am I the only one that this kind of thing happens too? What’s next, a visit on Christmas Eve from two dwarves looking for a lost elk?
The next morning, while getting dressed to take my wife to breakfast, I tell her what happened. She of course had to bring up the turkey story again. “Yea – yea” I said, “But the turkey story was also true, you just didn’t see the Mormons with the bunny, this time.” She just laughed. “Do you hear how crazy you sound?”
I am sure she was storing this conversation away carefully, alongside the turkey story for future reference.