Ditching

Well we have another storm coming in tonight.  It is supposed to drop somewhere between 2″ and 12″ of snow by Saturday evening.  It’s time for the bad drivers to come out and trash their cars.

 

Here are some observations I have made about how people end up in the ditch.

 

  • SUVs and 4wd pickups usually end up in the right ditch facing forward. They look almost like they parked there on purpose.
  • Small sports cars end up in the left lane ditch facing any which way.
  • Rear wheel drive pickup trucks end up on the right lane ditch facing the road with their rear wheels in the ditch.
  • Vans and busses end up in the right side ditch on their sides; they are the only ones with their emergency blinkers on.

 

The most dangerous ones are of course the little sports cars.  I see them all the time going much too fast around corners and they almost always seem to cross the center of the road.  Little sports cars also seem to seek out the deepest ditches around.  One time while driving home after a snow storm I saw a car in the ditch which was so deep that only his antenna ball showed.  Yes, it was a Denver Bronco’s antenna ball.

 

Since I will probably have to come in to work tomorrow and help clear away snow from the parking lots I will make a prediction.  I will see the following on the way to work:

 

One SUV, in the right ditch, two sports cars in the left ditch, one abandoned bicycle, and a truck parked with its ass in a ditch half buried in snow.  Oh and there will not be a single emergency flasher on any of them.

 

I will post how close I came to my predictions on Sunday.

 

My good luck is their misfortune.  Or is that the other way around?

 

-pf

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