Into the blue

As another sign that I am slowly going insane I am beginning to understand my cats.


Almost every time my lovely wife cleans out the litter box the cats stand by and wait in anticipation.  It seems to be quite important to them to be the first to experience the fresh sand between their toes.  They wait and watch, motionless, then once their box is clean they rush in to do their best to nuke it.  Most Cats prefer to crap in a nice new fresh litter box.


This is hardly surprising. 


Most humans are likewise interested in clean accommodations.  My wife, for one, will go to great lengths to reach a nice restroom rather than lower herself (Pun intended) to a less desirable facility.  It’s always nice to find a nice clean restroom.  It’s a special bonus when you find one that has been freshly cleaned, and you’re the first person of the day to use it. 


This only counts if it was cleaned by someone else.  Using the restroom just after I clean it is not the same thing; that would be the equivalent to hitting a mud puddle after I wash the car.  I would much rather hit a mud puddle after my son washed my car; however this is an event that has yet to occur. 

What I am talking about is when you need to use a restroom and find that everything is perfectly spotless and you are the first person to use the room since it was cleaned.  With cats this happens almost each and every time the litter box is cleaned.  They have nothing to do but wait around and watch you clean the box.  It’s what they do.   I can imagine some rare times when the cats over sleep, or are busy with cleaning chores and miss the cleaning.  Then they would later find that the box has been magically cleaned.  The chance of us humans happening upon a clean restroom are rare, but one that no one has yet visited is almost un-heard of.  It’s like green lights all the way to work, turning on the TV just as a series of commercials end, or getting initiative on every roll.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does you take note and reflect upon your good fortune.


I think I found a phrase for this rare event. 


“A shot in the blue”


Where I work the custodial staff uses a cleaner that leaves the water at the bottom of the bowl a marvelous shade of blue.  I imagine that a toilet bowl chemical cleaning manufacture spent zillions of dollars and countless man hours on research, and development in an attempt to come up with a blue coloring for their cleaner.  I can just see the focus groups that review small porcelain bowls of blue water and ask for feedback.  “Describe what you feel when you gaze into the bowl, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?” The answers they are shooting for are clean, pure, cool, maybe even refreshing.  Whoever designed this toilet cleaner did an outstanding job. They nailed the color of a clean and pure noon day sun reflecting off of a still mountain lake. 


This morning the planets aligned and I found myself to be the first into a new and clean bathroom, and the bowl was the shade of blue that I can only describe as virginal. 


Anyway, I now know how the cats feel when they run into a pure clean kitty litter box.  They probably imagine a cool evening on the Sahara with vast sand dunes, cat nip growing in clumps in the shade, and wingless birds and blind mice roaming around aimlessly. 


In my imagination I see how inportant indoor plumbing is to society.   I feel that a truly luxurious restroom is a demonstration of human progress.  Kitchens and bedrooms can be reduced to a camp stove and sleeping bags, but a restroom is absolutely necessary to civilized society. 


Cats understand this.

Dogs do not.



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3 thoughts on “Into the blue

  1. jimsmuse says:

    The best reason to stay at a fancy hotel is always the amazingly clean bathroom. The Mini-bar is a close second.

  2. My cats will do the exact same thing. My moment of horror came when I pulled out the old, filled liner and turned my back to deposit it in a bigger bag for disposal. Once it was wrapped up and ready for the trip out of the house, I tuned back to put in the new liner and fill it with litter. What I found was one of the cats, squatting in the empty box doing his thing. AAARGH!

    The last thing you want to do in this situation is interrupt a crapping cat by making him run off through the house. I had to stifle my indignant cry and wait patiently for him to finish. Then I yelled.

    -Turkish Prawn

  3. “Even if you have the smartest cat in the world, there’s still a box of crap in your house.”

    – Red Foreman, That 70’s Show

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