Winning Density


I often wonder how I survived being a teenager. A good friend recently reminded me of how reckless we were,  and his post helped bring back some good memories. Regretfully, these memories were buried right beside some that were better off where they were.  So now I am left with the aftermath.  Like broken sewer systems, sometimes it’s better to leave a clog alone rather than having to deal with what comes out.  So I will work to explore the good while continuing to re-repress the bad. 


Thanks Kings. 

You hella up.


I have a teenage son and would rather not think too much about how close I was to not making it to my 20s.  He is a good kid, but then again so was I.  Nor do I wish to relate too much to my parents who, by the way, read my blog.  However, that said, I have to tell one story, mainly because it is funny, wholesome, and not likely to get me into trouble.


Jim the Dense.


Sometime shortly after High School a group of friends decided to make a road trip to a theme park.  Not just any theme park, we went to Marriott’s Great America in lovely Santa Clara, California. 




We piled into someone’s Chevy conversion van and headed out for the day.  I don’t remember the details of what we did that day other than riding roller coasters and just hanging out, but one memory kind of jumped out of my brain and onto this screen.  We were walking past a booth where for a dollar a woman claimed to be able to guess your weight.  If she was wrong you won a hat.  Not just any hat, but a bright green or red plastic bill only hat, with the following written on the bill:


Marriott’s Great America

I’m a winner


For some reason we just had to have one of those hats.   Jim stepped up for the challenge. For some reason my friend Jim was made of something other than standard flesh and bone.  He is like some kind of lead Gollum.  Since he weighed far more than he looked we sent him in to get a hat.  It worked, the woman at the booth was wrong by at least twenty pounds.  As the day went on we found that not only did we walk past that booth over and over again, but the shifts of people manning that booth changed often.  We also found something else out while eating lunch.  You could use a coin to rub off letters on the hat just like a lottery ticket.  So after much fooling around trying to spell out something clever by scratching off letters here is what I came up with: 


Marriott’s Great America

I’m a winner


Obviously we had to go back and get more hats.  By the time the day was done and the park was closing, we all had “eat me I’m a winner” hats.  All thanks to Jim the Dense.




2 thoughts on “Winning Density

  1. Layman Pong says:

    Jim’s a Cro Magnon, straight outta Lascaux.

  2. How do kids find out this stuff!?!? I’ll grand you, I would have been right there with you, scraping away. What fascinates me the the ingenuity that kids can display when they seem to have nothing better to do.

    Good memory!

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