A long time ago, I was stationed in Whiteman AFB in Knob Noster Missouri. Yes, that is a real city in Missouri. When I first began my tour, the base was in the process of changing its mission. Whiteman AFB was formally a missile base with silos scattered all over Missouri, Oklahoma, and Kansas. When I arrived the task of changing the mission to B1 bombers was well underway. Naturally there were a lot of displaced people whose jobs were to be eliminated or changed. Some of the people who were affected by this change were the security police. You see it requires a team of security personal to watch a missile silo. And with dozens of missile silos scattered all over the mid west it took a sizable crew to do their job. So naturally a large number of security police either had to re-train or re-locate. It just doesn’t take two guys to watch each and every plane.
Anyway, one of the security police, that chose to be re-trained, worked for me in the vertical construction shop. I don’t remember his name but he was a Staff Sergeant, so I will call him Sergeant Bob. Sergeant Bob told me a story about when he worked in Oklahoma watching missile silos and how he would initiate new recruits.
Two people worked 48 hour shifts watching a missile silo. As you can imagine it would get pretty dull. One thing about the military is that it teaches you to find interesting ways to entertain yourself with out breaking too many rules. Playing cards, having pun contests, reading books, counting tumble weeds, anything was fair game. The key was to stay alert and watch their section of nothing; you never know when Russians may invade.
Sergeant Bob would initiate his new recruits by playing a game. First he would lecture the new recruit about the dangers of hallucinating in the desert heat, make sure they would drink a lot of water, and keep alert for the signs of heat exhaustion. Then he would put a $5.00 bill on a table under the ashtray, and bet that who ever saw a pink and green prairie dog first would win the money. This was a demonstration on how the mind plays tricks on your eyes, and gives the new guy an incentive to keep alert. A while later sure enough a prairie dog ran by. Nope, it was blue and red, so it doesn’t count. “That’s bad sign, so drink up. It’s obvious that you’re not drinking enough” Sergeant Bob would say. Later in the early evening, sure enough, a pink and green prairie dog comes running around the pickup truck off into the plains. The Sergeant saw it first, so he grabbed the money. He said, “It’s obviously time for more water”. The new guy wasn’t told what was going on the first time out.
The next time he and Sergeant Bob went out they brought fishing poles. The game is to string out about 20 yards of line and make a loop around an active prairie dog hole. Then once they catch one its time to decorate the little beastie with spray paint. Then let the little thing go. Prairie dog painting was quite popular for quite a while. Bob never said why the practice was stopped, and I never asked.
That story popped into my head after hearing this story from The Denver Channel this morning:
Woman Faces $1,000 Fine for Pink Poodle
Dog colored to help raise Breast Cancer awareness.
Here is a quote from the official City of Boulder ordinance:
“No person shall dye or color live fowl, rabbits, or any other animals.” It’s a code meant to keep people from dyeing rabbits and chicks at Easter”
Apparently this law was put into place due to rash of bunny and chicken dyeing. I am sure that this is due to the poor animals being humiliated with colors that nature never intended. I guess this would be the ugly side of Easter.
So the humane society is against animal dying. What about stupid animal hair cuts? Have you seen a properly groomed poodle at the Westminster Dog show? Its bad enough that there are actually people whose profession are poodle ass shaver, but think of how the poodle feels. Where is the outrage from PETA, the city of Boulder, and the Humane Society? I can imagine them cracking down on the obscene and humiliating practice of poodle ass shaving. The revenue at a normal dog show would be staggering.
This kind of thing really brings up two important questions:
1. Doesn’t the city of boulder have better things to do that give out thousand dollar tickets for poodle dyeing?
2. Why would dyeing a poodle pink bring awareness to breast cancer? If I saw a pink poodle breast cancer would be the furthest thing from my mind.
By the way, my first thought was marshmallow peeps,
I can only imagine what the Humane Society would think of Sergeant Bob.
In hindsight I bet that Sergeant Bob and his friends saved a lot of prairie dogs. Many animals use bright colors to show that they are poisonous or bad tasting. I can imagine an eagle hovering on a warm air current looking down for a meal. He sees a pink and green critter scurrying about the prairie. “Disgusting little critter, unfashionable, and he clashes with the prairie, what a cobbler”.
The eagle fly’s on looking for a more appetizing snack.
Good job Sergeant Bob.