I made a deal with my wife, this year I would get enthusiastic about carving pumpkins and decorating for Halloween in exchange for this boon, she would not use any fake spider webs. You see I hate spider webs. Not the real spider webs, just the fake ones.
Holidays at the casa flounder seem to go like this: We decorate the front yard with pumpkins, graves, skeletons, bugs, hands, feet, skulls, and spider webs. Then when Halloween is over and we have to clean up the mess. The first thing to get cleaned up is the valuable decorations, which of course leaves the spider webs last. Next month we want the front yard to be more festive and Santa like and less ghoulish. So we really should take down the spider webs, however crappy weather hits about the same time of the year. Around the end of November I find myself trying to untangle frozen spider webs in favor of putting up frozen Christmas lights. As a good father and husband I try to do my best and maintain a cheerful attitude about decorating the house. So I usually give up and just decorate the spider webs. Around January comes time to take down the Christmas Decorations. However it’s too damn cold and I can’t get up on the roof because of the snow, so we give up and wait until it warms up a bit. Along comes April and its time to get the garden all cleaned up for summer. But first I have to untangle the damn spider webs from the Christmas lights that are all tangled up in the rose bushes!
So my plan this year is to nip it in the bud and not even allow the use of artificial spider webs. I am, however, encouraging real spider webs to form where ever possible. My wife, on the other hand, feels the same way about real spiders as I do about artificial spider webs, only more so. I will have to do my duty as spider killer and put aside my personal feelings, all in the interest of domestic tranquility. Aah the sacrifices I make…
As with all family plans I have to give up something in return for a moratorium on spider webs. So I agreed to carve pumpkins until my hands were raw and I itch everywhere. It’s partially my fault; I showed her the wonderful carvings on extreempumpkins.com. So here are the results of months of growing pumpkins (yes they are from my wife’s garden) and hours of carving.
This pumpkin will look much better once a light the full size crayon log I bought. Flames should be impressive.
Pumpkins that are raised in the wild do not allways play well with others.
Here is the entire scene in the front yard. The bright one in between the pumpkin with its hair on fire and the hungry pumpkin is lit with a road flare. Its a beautiful thing… Almost ready for tomorrow night.