Flounder movie ratings

Movie Rating System to Undergo Revisions 

Apparently the movie industry is getting tired of being hammered for rating movies PG with excessive violence, and no nudity.  Or is it because there are movies with a NC17 rating with nudity but not violence?   What rating do I look for to get all the sex and violence I need?  Why are there not more NC17 movies?  Im so confused.

Mostly parents are the ones that are confused,  the rating system doesn’t give them enough information to protect their children.  So get ready but I feel there will be more fooling around with the movie rating system in the near future. 

It’s a shame, if you’re really worried about what your children see in a movie then do the right thing. 

Go see it first.  That’s the only way you will know for sure. 

So here is the current rating system 

G: Suggested for General Audiences. All ages admitted.

M: Suggested for Mature Audiences. (Parental discretion advised)

R: Restricted. Persons under 17 are not admitted unless accompanied by parent.

X: Persons under 18 not admitted

Then the M got changed to PG

Then PG 13 was added.

Then NC17 was added.

The X was removed, but don’t tell that to the XXX rated movie theaters, if they still exist.

First of all it says right on the label: Parental guidance suggested.  Why a parent will trust a label with out seeing the movie is beyond me. It looks like things are getting worse not better on the rating front.    

I say go all out.  Make sure we know exactly what to expect from a film.   

The Flounder system for movie ratings: 

First the basics: 

T          (Tits)  number of sightings

A         (Ass)  number of sightings

L          (Language)  Number of words (see reference A)

V         (Violence) Duration in minutes total

SI         (Sexual Innuendo) Number of statements.

GR       (Gross) Number of minutes

S          (Sex)  Number of minutes either exposed or imitated.

N         (Nudity) Number in minutes that includes more that just Tits or Ass.

R          (Religion)  How many minutes of religious scenes.

RI        (Religious Innuendo) Number of minutes talking around religion.

OR       (Other religion) Number of minutes of religions other than Christian.

D         (Drugs) Number of scenes with Drugs.

Next will be the warnings to extra sensitive groups.  These are the people who are just fine with sword fights and decapitations but get all offended if a cat was hit with a car. 

RIS      (Racial Insensitive Situations) Number of jokes that offend (see reference B)

GI        (Gay Innuendo) Number of jokes or other insensitive gay situations.

 

IH        (Insensitive Handicap) Number of insensitive references to the Handicapped.

 

IF         (Insensitive Fat) Number of references to the gravitationally challenged.

 

GN      (Gangsters) Number of minutes of gangsters references.

 

AN      (Animals) Number of scenes where a animal looks like its hurt.

 

DW      (Devil worship) Number of minutes of religious scenes where evil is glorified.

 

GN      (Gun Nut)  Number of guns showed on screen.

 

P          (Piercing) Number of piercing (Jewelry)

 

BP       (Body piercing) Number of body piercing. (Jewelry)

 

TT        (Tattoos)  Number of scenes with tattoos.

 

MI       (Midgets)  Number of minutes of insensitive midget jokes or situations.

 

BD       (Blind)  Number of time a blind person is treated insensitively.

 

Z          (Zombies)  Number of scenes with zombies.

 

AB       (Abortion) Number of references to abortion.

 

POL     (Politics) Number of political references.

 

NG      (Naked Guys)  Number of scenes with Naked guys.

Finally what I want to know about a movie.  This will go a long way to whether or not I want to plop down a $20.00 bill for two hours of my time. 

MON   (Monsters)  Number of minutes where a monster is on screen.

 

ROB    (Robots) Number of minutes with robots on the screen.

 

EX       (Extraterrestrials)  Number of minutes of aliens on the screen

 

ICC     (Improbably car chases)  Number of times a car should be wrecked but survives.

 

DP       (Defies Physics)  Number of times the movie defies the law of physics.

 

AD       (Advertisements) Number of product placements in the movie.

 

EW      (Environmental Waco) Number of pro-environmental references.

 

ST        (Subtitles)  Number of words that are in subtitles.

 

CF       (Chick Flick) Number of crying scenes.

 

NRD    (Nerd) Number of times nerds are abused.

 

BH       (British humor) Number of minutes of British humor.

 

SIL      (Silicone) Number of implants.

So let’s see a few examples, just to show how easy it is: 

Movie              Rating

Pulp Fiction      L524, V23, SI15, GR12, S2, R16, D12, RIS5, GI12, GN21, GN45, TT23

Star Wars         V23, GR2, OR24, IH1, GN2, POL3, MON24, EX90, DP60, ST14.

Now wasn’t that informative?

I’m sure that the MPAA will e-mail me any moment to adopt this system. 

 -PF

reference A:  What do you think, I am going to list all the offensive words? 

reference B:  Ditto.

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One thought on “Flounder movie ratings

  1. Layman Pong says:

    How does “The Gimp” of Pulp Fiction figure into the equation?

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