Final Spork Report

The sixth test in this series has been suggested by Caveblogem.

Picture this; you’re standing around the fire pit with your trusty Spork in your shirt pocket waiting for your BBQ to warm up when it falls out of your pocket into the fire pit just as someone tosses in a slug of wimpy red propellant. All you can do is watch in horror and hope your trusty Spork can survive the red flames of doom.

This is more common that you may think.

I don’t have any wimpy red propellant so I will be substituting with a formula called Waterfall comp. This is in interesting composition that I have used to make super sparklers. The only problem with super sparklers is that they have a tendency of starting fires, burning clothing, and melting the little plastic things on the end of your shoelaces.

So here is the setup:

Spork firetest1

And here are the contestants:

Spork firetest2

Since this is exceedingly dangerous to do indoors I will attempt to preform this experiment outdoors. Attempt is the key, there is currently about two feet of snow outside so I will be using the small BBQ as a test vessel and a 5 lb weight to keep the experiment from falling through the grate. On the plus side there is very little to burn if this gets out of hand. The stunt fork will be standing in for the spoon due to an issue with a spoon shortage we are currently experiencing.

#1 The Titanium Spork

T spork

#2 Stunt Fork

Fork

#3 Plastic Spork from KFC

P spork

#4 Bamboo Chopstick

cs
The control group is not be allowed to watch.

Here is the roundup of all tests.

#1 The Titanium Spork was destroyed during the test. Apparently I underestimated the waterfall mix, it melted through the Titanium. It is still usable but melted and deformed in the center.

#2 Stunt Fork was the only survivor of this test. It is in poor shape and will have physical scarring that may prevent it from finding a mate. I am surprised on how good the old school fork and spoon preformed.

#3 Plastic Spork from KFC this was a total loss, there was nothing I could identify or photograph. It was ugly. This is not suprising as these thin pieces of plastic are so flammable that I would not hesitate in using them for starting fires.

#4 Bamboo Chopstick they were tougher than I anticipated but were totally destroyed in the reaction. This is to be expected and is no surprise, however they are disposable items like the plastic spork. So keeping a few on hand is the best solution to the camp fire issue.

Roundup:

I am rating the utensils on a scale of 1 to 10 using an arbitrary scale that uses weight, toughness, and resistance to fire as a grading criteria.

Number one with a score of 8, the Chop Sticks. They are lightweight, tough, and disposable. The only drawback is the lask of ability in scooping. But you can allways scrape a bowl into your mouth.

Number two with a score of 7.5, the Titanium Spork. It is lightweight, tough and fire resistant, but not indestructible. The expence of replacement is the only think keeping it from being number one.

Number three with a score of 7 would be the Steel fork/spoon. They are heavy, tough, fire resistant, but you have to have both to compete with the spork. They also rust.

Last is of course with a score of 3 is the plastic POS spork. No suprise there, they are disposable but you would need about 30 for your average meal.

Note to self, don’t use waterfall comp for anything but its intended purpose, also may prove to be a good comp for rocket igniters.

-PF

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One thought on “Final Spork Report

  1. caveblogem says:

    Well, it was worth the wait. Great pictures! I think the Waterfall comp is pretty. Thanks for going to all of the trouble, too. You are a true scientist now, and I’m sorry I cast aspersions on you earlier.

    I disagree a little about the spork’s ratings, though. The chopsticks can’t cut, after all, like the spork. And try to picture yourself eating birdsnest soup with them. The titanium spork is expensive, true, but has a nice little hole on the end. Loop a string through it and it can be worn as jewelry.

    Hope you are enjoying your snow. It is currently snowing here in Lowell, too. There will only be an inch or two on the ground, but the kids are pretty happy to have even that. It’s the first snow of a very warm season.

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