Balls

Balls 2006

Well after almost a year of preparation I got to go to Balls this year. What is Balls? Well that’s kind of hard to explain to the “non-rocket geek”. However I will endeavor to describe by degrees like Burns. (Reference to rocket accidents un-intended.)

 

1st degree rocket event. www.nar.org

You buy a rocket kit and spend the weekend building and painting. You go to a NAR club launch and fly the thing. You break the tip off a fin and have to glue it back on with some superglue. Total cost: Rocket $12.00, motors $10.00 Superglue $2.00. Total investment $24.00.

 

2nd Degree rocket event www.ncrocketry.org

You have been flying rockets at events for a few years and started making custom rockets, learning how to fiberglass phoenalic airframes and you’re working on your high power certification. You go to a large club event and fly some of your fleet of rockets spending well over $100.00 on propellant. Two of your rockets come in ballistic and are a total lost. Total investment over $200.00 for one weekend.

 

3rd Degree. BALLS. www.balls15.com

You work for almost a year with a group of friends to build a large rocket. You consult engineers and hire graphic designers. You come up with a Logo and have T-shirts printed up for your group. Some of your group drive to
Utah just to mix the propellant, and you have to borrow a motor casing (Experimental) from an actual rocket scientist. Total investment:

Room $150.00

You share of the rocket parts, epoxy, glass, parachutes, etc. $200.00

Your share of Gas to drive there and back $100.00

Your share of food, beer, sodas, crackers, (Other junk food) $300.00 (a lot of beer)

Balls T-shirts, Balls coffee mug, Bruno’s coffee mug,
Tripoli membership, Burning man T-shirt, $175.00

Grand total: You do the math, its too depressing.

 

I did however have an outstanding time. Close friends, excellent food (Elk steaks) amazing rockets, and the most interesting people I have ever met. The only way it could have been better would be if I had my own experimental rocket and experimental propellant to launch, maybe next year.

Some things I learned while at Balls:

I will never again launch a rocket that large from only 150’ away.

You can’t use a GPS with double vision from drinking too much beer.

A good euphemism for throwing up is “Calling Dinosaurs”

You can ride a bike with your eyes closed by feeling the heat on your face from the sun.

You can burn an amazing amount of rocket propellant in a fresh Jack-o-lantern with out it falling apart.

Everyone looks stupid posing with the cat-in-the-hat.

You have to drive backwards to make good do-nuts with a front wheel drive minivan.

I now know what a Playa serpent is. DO NOT hit one at 75 mph in a minivan.

Playa dust gets in everything. And I do mean everything.

Playa dust is edible.

You can also breath it.

Krytox ™ is good to lubricate a beer tap pump.

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